I agree but it also gives them thinks the need that they cant get. I give coats , gloves an hats . I also talk to them. Theres only so much we can do. That shows love. I offered bibles. Im sorry its a good thing.

Ashley, your story is tragic. What are the prospects of your eventually getting off the streets? Are you able to work toward that?

SJ

Email: blueama54@hotmail.com

Ashley

My group does blessing bags, I do feel they serve a purpose. Yes, we take a day and we hit the streets and make contact with the homeless. Some are more gracious than others to receive, some would prefer money. Our goal is to make contact and leave something with them. (a prayer, conversation and a blessing bag)

Janny: I’m so sorry to hear about your daughter’s situation. I just wanted to mention that there are many, many soup kitchens, food pantries, and brown bag ministries all across the USA. Perhaps you can suggest to your daughter via instant message that she should inquire about which of these resources are available in her area. With so many organizations offering food to the needy, there is absolutely no reason for her to feel hungry on a daily basis.

I can see that you have a kind heart. But I’ve got to say this, not in a demeaning way, but from someone who knows homelessness.
My daughter has been homeless for almost two years (by her own doing, but all the same, she has put herself in a desperate situation that is beyond my control. She did live with my husband and me for about 9 months and we took very good care of her… And her 2 children. But.. the extra added expenses got to be more than we could handle, so my husband put her out on the streets (the children went to live with their dad). I’m still livid over him putting her out like he did, but I do understand. And we have helped her here and there along, as we can since.
My daughter gets robbed, beaten, raped, goes hungry and sick nearly on a daily basis.
Since he put her out, she barely has any communication with me at all, and I rarely know where she is… (The general vicinity, anyway).. but I do manage to get an instant message from her once or twice a month on messenger.
This is what I do know.
She’s always sick, never has any money, can’t work and hold a job down because she has a bad mental disability, but is too stubborn to let me help her file for disability (which I know she would get within 3 months due to her physical and mental problems).
Since she left, I’ve learned so much about homelessness. All of her friends are homeless, they actually do sleep outside in wooded areas with no blankets or extra clothing in the winter. No pillow even.. They sleep under awnings in town sometimes just to keep the snow and rain off as much as possible. If they do come across a cardboard box… guess what? Someone bigger and scarier “will” come along and demand that box, and if that don’t give it to them, they get beat up, cut and even murdered. My daughter has had strangers walk up while she was trying to sleep and run their hand down her pants to see if she’s hiding anything that might want to talk. Yes, they even take things hidden in their jeans and socks..bras…wherever something can be put.. sadly..yes..the will even look “inside” of a woman’s privates.
So I guess what I’m saying is that if you see a homeless person, especially a female.. chances are high that she’s desperate for anything she can get.
My poor daughter told me at one point of her homelessness all she had to her name was a dirty plastic bottle. She would guard that bottle with her life. Considering she had no money for food and drink, when she was fortunate enough to find a place to fill it up with water, she would drink til her stomach was full, then she would fill the bottle to drink on till the next time she found more drinkable water.
Going from what I know, the homeless are happy to get any little crumb someone gives them.
In no way did I intend to insult you, and I really hope I haven’t. I just wanted to be a voice for those in need.
Thank you for reading my letter. And btw, I’m sure my daughter’s case isn’t everybody else’s case and you know what you’re talking about. No doubt! I guess each case is different. But where my daughter is, everybody’s cases are the same :”(. It hurts more than anything to not be able to just go get her and bring her home! Every minute of every day..I’ve cried, I’ve aged, I’ve become sicker than I already was, prayed constantly… And I know God has got her in His hands..but it still is the worst thing I’ve ever experienced as a mother.. I can’t even imagine afraction of what her days are like :”(. But anyway, I just wanted to say that. Thanks for the ear.. Praying….

Doing s.th. is better than doing nothing and the coins/money will help washing laundry or getting a drink……and there will be always s.th. in it to help or to make s.o. happy! I don’t like wiseacres and criticizer! Stay happy

You make a good point. My husband would be upset with me for offering certain assistance to people I did not know without him. Especially if my kids are present.

I know this sounds terrible and I hate myself for saying it, but it’s easier for guys, they don’t have to worry about certain things that women have to worry about. So be kind to yourself.

Thanks for commenting Becca! Always enjoy it when you do. 🙂

I have always thought the “according to their wants” to be very interesting myself! I had a professor at BYU who pointed it out to me and I have thought about it since. The Lord’s system of welfare is definitely an individualized plan, a loving plan, and takes care of you as an individual and what you stand in need of.

I’ll admit to still being young and naive about a lot of things, and my experience with homeless people is very sparse and mostly just in passing. But, my dad taught me a lot about talking to everyone, and getting to know strangers. He regularly gave and gives service to people he meets of all walks of life and need (even though it can drive my mom batty sometimes). My parents currently have a “roommate” they took in who needed a place to stay. He’s picked up dozens of hitchhikers in his big rig, gave money and rides to people who needed them, and made small talk, complete with a joke and a smile, with just about everyone he came across. He knows all of his neighbors by name and regularly checks in on them and helps them as needed.

Unfortunately, I’m often more like my mother in this regard, and am too critical and hesitant. I know I need to be more like my dad, and more like Jesus. I hope that a blessing bag might help a homeless person not feel invisible and might meet at least one need of theirs, even if it isn’t the perfect way to serve them.

Whoops, I cross-posted! I’m just very used to being attacked for expressing this opinion. Look, none of us get it right all the time because, as you say, everyone is different and everyone has different circumstances. Some people will love blessing bags and some people will swear at you for offering them. Thank you for taking my comment in the best-possible light. I appreciate your charity.

I totally agree with you Becca! The blessing bags are a bit of “one size fits all” solution aren’t they. Every homeless person has a different story and situation so it’s hard to know that they *all* need socks and toothpaste. I guess I like to think that at least I am doing something, that I’m trying, and that perhaps my forethought about wanting to help a homeless person will positively affect them. But, I’ve never been homeless, so I don’t fully understand. It’s one way to serve, even if it may not be the best way.

Obey your instincts and if you feel that a homeless person is dangerous, don’t interact with them. But I have had some truly remarkable experiences from actually taking the time to speak with homeless people. It’s very easy to say, “God loves you.” It’s much harder to show, through your actions, that YOU love them. And God – For so many people, especially for people who are doing it rough, that’s an abstract thought. You are there. You are present. A bag of toiletries is all well and good; but taking the time to say, “Do you need toothpaste? Do you want a comb? Can I buy you a sandwich?” is better, because it’s giving according to their wants, and it’s empowering them to make a decision.

Perhaps a couple of stories will illustrate. I used to live in a red light district. My husband and I knew the prostitutes, we were on friendly terms, we’d stop and chat and we always smiled and waved. Once a die-hard Catholic friend visited. She really is the most lovely person, she truly glorifies God in her thoughts and actions. But she was so uncomfortable! The entire time she was shying away and fingering her crucifix, like she was warding off evil. If she’d stopped to say, “Hi, I’m Jill, how are you doing today?” they would’ve responded with a, “Hi, yeah, I’m doing okay, how’s this weather huh?” but she was scared of them. I get it; it’s challenging when you’re faced with people who are selling their bodies. But some of Christ’s first disciples were prostitutes. That wasn’t because He shied away from them in fear. It was because He took the time to see them, as people.

Several years later a man stood up in church to talk about how wonderful he’d been to a homeless man. He’d met this man by chance and immediately raced home and grabbed an old dusty sleeping bag and a pair of shoes and some cans of food and gave them to the man. He was tearing up as he was telling us how marvellous he was. And all I could think was – Did the man need a sleeping bag? It was the middle of summer. Were the shoes the right size? Did he even have a can opener to open the food, or a way of heating it up? All of these practical issues which could’ve been so easily resolved if he’d stopped to say, you know, “Hi, I’m Nathan, nice to meet you, I see you’re doing it a bit rough there, I’ve got an old sleeping bag at home, would that help?” Instead, *he provided the service he thought they should need.* Which is still probably better than doing nothing, but not necessarily (the sleeping bag, food, and shoes may well have just ended up in the trash.)

I’m not saying I always get it right, because I don’t. I often slip up, I forget to carry small change so I can’t give it away, I walk past the person with the sign because it’s easier and I’m in a hurry. But on those occasions when I’ve actually done better – when I’ve actually reached out and showed that I care, through taking the time to ask what they want and need – it’s been incredible. More than one homeless person has told me that the worst thing about being homeless is being invisible – people don’t see them, or if they do see them, they see them as a nuisance. On a daily basis homeless people have very little choice, they are made to feel that they should be overly grateful for even the smallest gestures of goodwill. It’s actually incredibly empowering to give them a say in the process. (And, by the way, it’s exactly the way Welfare Square operates with their homeless outreach.)