Comments on: The Epidemic Affecting Stay at Home Moms Everywhere

By: Becky N.

Becky N. — Wed, 24 Jan 2018 20:44:53 +0000

Imagine how I and many other widowed parents that stay at home with young children feel. Isolated, sad, lonely and a constant pressure of EVERYTHING on your shoulders. That is truly a awful feeling, I know.

By: Katelyn Fagan

Katelyn Fagan — Tue, 03 Feb 2015 00:21:14 +0000

In reply to Amanda. I too have always wanted to do a babysitting swap, but it has never worked out for me, though I know others who have been great at it! I really think it helps if you can get a solid commitment, and make it regular, like the first Friday of the month you and your hubby will go out, and then on the third Friday you'll watch the other couple's kids as they go out. That way there isn't guesswork, or never knowing when you will be hit up for a last minute date night, nor them. And my advice for making friends is to just believe you are awesome and that everyone is dying to get to know you, so that you will invite them over or to do something. Good luck!

By: Amanda

Amanda — Mon, 02 Feb 2015 22:17:21 +0000

Thank you so much for this blog post! I’m LDS as well and we just moved to my home state. But we live on an island and far away from family so them babysitting is kind of out of the question especially since we also only have one car and my husband drives around all day for work. It was great reading that I’m not alone on this. I have breakdowns every now and then about all of the above. I’m slowly getting to know some of the ladies in our ward and a few of them seem very nice. It’s hard though. After not really having friends for over 3 years it is difficult to make them. Something we’re having an issue with is finding babysitters in the church. We’re having a hard time trusting people. We have offered to a few of the families a babysitting swap (since money is tight and babysitting can get super expensive) and everyone says that’s a great idea, but never acts upon it. I feel like it would be kind of rude to initiate the request for babysitting…….any ideas on how to go about this? Thank you again! I REALLY needed to read this!

By: Samantha @ Cotten Tales

Samantha @ Cotten Tales — Fri, 23 Jan 2015 00:56:55 +0000

Thanks for the shout out (and the incredibly kind words!), Katelyn. This SAHM gig is tough, and it’s nice to see I’m not alone in the struggle. Great advice!

By: Katelyn Fagan

Katelyn Fagan — Wed, 21 Jan 2015 01:42:21 +0000

In reply to Nina. That's awesome. I keep in touch with some of my college friends via phone calls as well, but it's only once every few months it seems. And I have a large family, but I am FAR away from them! I think it's easier if you stay in the same place you grew up (or close) or to where you went to college to keep some of those friendships going. But, I haven't been in that boat for a while. And I think working moms have it a bit easier to find/make friends (which is why I aimed this at SAHMs though it applies to everybody really).

By: Nina

Nina — Tue, 20 Jan 2015 23:11:55 +0000

What a thorough post, Katelyn! And thanks for sharing my post, too. I met most of my good friends through college, and we keep in touch with the long-distance ones through phone calls. The ones nearby, I try to get together with them at least once a month. Other friends I’ve met through work (I’m not a SAHM) and through meetup.com mommy group.

And depending on your family dynamics, honestly my family is my biggest source of friendships and company, like siblings and cousins.

By: Katelyn Fagan

Katelyn Fagan — Tue, 20 Jan 2015 22:42:45 +0000

In reply to Alicia Owen.

I miss Indiana. 🙂 Kind of… It’s in the 70s today, so maybe I don’t miss it that much! But, yes. I’m tired of feeling isolated too. Good luck!

By: Katelyn Fagan

Katelyn Fagan — Tue, 20 Jan 2015 22:31:18 +0000

In reply to Chelsea D.

I agree Chelsea!! I focused it on SAHMs as that is what I am, and can relate to the best, but my married friends from college who don’t have kids have told me that they feel lonely too, and don’t know how to make friends anymore! I do think it is an adult problem (I’m sure it affects men, right? Women just seem to need friends more innately). It’s just hard to make friends as an adult. And Chelsea, I also make sure to invite the childless women from church to the book club I organized. 🙂 I know they need friends too. Just invited a newlywed woman who’s new to our ward (and area) to it, and I could tell she was excited, as she said she didn’t have anything to do, and would love to go. And I also try to make sure I hang out with my friends who work full-time too, as I know they also need friends. We ALL need good friends!

By: Chelsea D

Chelsea D — Tue, 20 Jan 2015 14:31:11 +0000

It’s funny how you mentioned this in regards to “stay at home moms” because I can feel the same thing and not have children. I am the only young married woman in my ward that doesn’t have kids. And so sometimes I feel left out and “friendless” because everybody else meets up at playgroup and such. The other moms get together during the day when I’m at work, and so it’s something that I can never be apart of (except during the summer time). So I think it can go both ways. I think this is just a woman problem that we all face – kids or no kids.

By: Alicia Owen

Alicia Owen — Tue, 20 Jan 2015 14:28:55 +0000

Great post! This is something I’ve been working on myself. I’m tired of feeling isolated all the time. It’s gotten better since we’ve moved back to Indiana closer to family, but like you said, you can’t rely solely on family to keep you entertained. 😉

By: Sarah

Sarah — Tue, 20 Jan 2015 03:01:41 +0000

I loved this post, Katelyn. 🙂 I really need it right now, too. After moving away from so many good friends and having a baby right away, I’ve definitely felt that isolation. I crave a best friend to talk to. This post is giving me some motivation to make some new friends that I need! Great suggestions!