Comments on: Overcoming the Fear of Pregnancy After Miscarriage

By: Sarah

Sarah — Fri, 15 Jan 2021 03:57:14 +0000

I am so glad I stumbled across this post. On December 11, 2020, I went in for a 9 week ultrasound to find that baby was measuring 6 weeks and had no heartbeat. One week later, we had that confirmed with a second ultrasound that showed the same thing. My midwife suggested I wait, so my body would miscarry naturally. The worst part about missed miscarriages is having your grieving process paused because the bad thing hasn’t happened yet. On Christmas Day, 3 weeks after the first devastating ultrasound, I finally started miscarrying. Perfect timing, right? However, I started hemorrhaging and lost nearly 30% of the blood in my body. I had to be rushed to the hospital for an emergency D & C and have spent the last three weeks slowly recovering from blood loss, the loss of my baby, and trying to overcome the first stages of PTSD from the whole experience. But God…

He has held me through all of this, and comforted me in ways I could never fully understand. I am terrified at the thought of getting pregnant again and the possibility of losing another one. But God has encouraged me that HE is in control, and HE works everything for His good. I cannot see how this awful experience will be worked for good, except that it has brought me closer to Him, shown me how much my church really cares, and could potentially allow me to encourage someone else some day. I am praying that God allows me to carry and deliver a healthy, full-term baby again, but until then, I will snuggle my nearly 3 year old until she begs me to stop, and then I will snuggle her some more.

By: Katelyn Fagan

Katelyn Fagan — Tue, 09 Jun 2020 16:49:26 +0000

In reply to Diana. I am so sorry!! But, have hope. Each pregnancy is different. Good luck dear!

By: Diana

Diana — Tue, 09 Jun 2020 15:07:28 +0000

Pregnancy after miscarriage is terrifying. My husband and I have been going through infertility, trying to get pregnant for about 3 years and finally got pregnant in October of last year through IVF. We were beyond excited and never really thought about miscarriage and just assumed the pregnancy would be normal and by the summer we would have our baby. That isn’t how it worked out for us though. We did have an ultrasound at 7 weeks at the IVF clinic and we saw a strong heartbeat and they told us we had a viable pregnancy, so we were discharged to my regular OB. I got scheduled for my first appointment with them at the 10 week mark and at that appointment they tried to do the doppler and didn’t pick up a heartbeat but didn’t seem concerned and sent us for an ultrasound. At the ultrasound the tech wasn’t very talkative and we knew something was wrong and she had us go back to the waiting room until she called us back shortly after with the doctor on the phone to tell us there was no heartbeat. The baby had stopped growing two days after our initial ultrasound, but my body didn’t recognize it so I ended up having a missed miscarriage. I never even knew that was a thing until it happened to me. I am currently pregnant again, but because of the missed miscarriage I am terrified of another one happening and question every little thing because my body didn’t recognize the miscarriage the first time I am worried that it could happen again.

By: Katelyn Fagan

Katelyn Fagan — Wed, 18 Mar 2020 19:19:49 +0000

In reply to Yvetta. Thank you for being so brave and sharing your story with me and my audience! Congratulations on your new pregnancy! May it continue to go well for you, and that some of your fear and anxiety will go away so you can fully enjoy this new gift and second chance.

By: Yvetta

Yvetta — Wed, 18 Mar 2020 02:21:53 +0000

Last year during my 28th birthday weekend I lost my first baby. I was 7 weeks in when it happen. I had experienced brown discharge days before and went to the hospital and was told that it I might be having a spontaneous miscarriage along with a blood bubble next to my uterus. I was super scared. I was told not to worry and that my body could either miscarry or continue the pregnancy. So I just continued with my plans to try and keep my mind off of it. But 2days after my birthday while I was walking in the pride parade with my family I started to feel intense cramps to the point I couldn’t walk anymore. I was placed on a float to get to the end. Somehow I was separated from my family and husband. I was terrified! I got of the float and limped to the next bus stop I could see so I could sit. Once I sat down the pain grew intensely, it didn’t feel like period pains it was something way more intense. I found myself balled up on a bus bench crying frantically because of the intense pain only to be followed by blood gushing(please excuse the graphics). My husband and mother eventually found me. My mom held me til our Uber could arrive (took about an hour). I was in full panic mode at this point but I was told to get a maxi pad to monitor the bleeding. I bleed through my skirt, my car seats , and a pillow I slept with. The next morning I went to the restroom and that’s when my baby came out. I had no clue what to do but go to the hospital. There I was told the baby pretty much was no longer inside me but just some tissue I needed to pass. I was devastated! I cried for days. I told myself that I couldn’t go through that again. I was in total fear of another miscarriage. I went to the doctors for my follow ups to make sure my levels were going down as they should. I felt blah to everyone including my husband. I knew in my heart there was no way I could do this any time in the near future.

But here I am almost a year later 11 weeks pregnant tomorrow ! I can’t lie I’m still very anxious and very scared. But I’m also extremely hopeful and pray everyday for a healthy baby. I’ve shared my story with very few people but I really hope this helps someone. Trying again is soo terrifying after a miscarriage but the love you feel is also so strong for your growing baby.

By: Lover of God and People

Lover of God and People — Mon, 08 Jul 2019 22:39:54 +0000

In reply to Hannah Flirr. Hannah, I felt the deep need to respond to your post. I could hear the absolute pain poured out of your heart in your words and I want you to know I understand. I too have walked through a miscarriage just a few months ago. I was crying out to the Lord for hope in what seemed like a hopeless time and I can tell you He is the hope giver. He met me right in that moment and immediately gave me a scripture verse I have been able to hang onto to this very day. I hadn’t attend church in a few weeks and the day I attended a women stood up and shared that she felt like a women there that day had miscarried and the Lord wanted her to know He hasn’t left her side and He is holding you through ever moment. I knew the Lord was reassuring me He was carrying me through this trying time. There are just things in life that are unexplainable. Death came into the world because of us. God is the giver of life and all things good. I know it it easy to want to find someone to cast blame on, and you know what God gets blamed all the time for horrible things but I know with all my being He is a good God and He is love. He comforts all who mourn. I am here for you if you ever need to talk.

By: Hannah Flirr

Hannah Flirr — Sat, 30 Jun 2018 12:42:42 +0000

I have experienced a miscarriage and it was and is heartbreaking. I thought that I would never be able to get over such a horrible loss, and now with a second pregnancy, I am so terrified that it will end in miscarriage that I am not excited. All I have ever wanted is a baby and every time I thought about the possibility I was overwhelmed with happiness. It makes me feel like a robot that I am not excited, and I know it is out of fear, I use to believe in god, but after that miscarriage I find it hard to believe that their is someone up their looking out for us. If there was, I believe he wouldn’t wish this fear and heartbreak on anyone. I was prepared and ready for my last baby and was looking forward to meet the baby, and then when I found out, I climbed into a depression so deep I almost couldn’t climb out.

I find it SO hard to believe a god is there. I hope, and hope and hope that this baby will be a full term, healthy baby but it is so unpredictable. I am so sorry to anyone else who has gone through a loss of a baby and send my thoughts to you, but you shouldn’t think that god holds your babies life in his hands and that you should just deal with a miscarriage because “God said it wasn’t time” because that is just not good enough.

By: Carmen-Rebekah

Carmen-Rebekah — Wed, 20 Jun 2018 00:35:44 +0000

I just went through my 6th miscarriage. My husband and I have been fighting woth this fear of miscarriage, and I really needed to read this today. The fear compounding when I think maybe it is God’s plan for us because I should not be a mother. It’s hard to even work up the nerve to tell our families I’m pregnant anymore.

By: Katelyn Fagan

Katelyn Fagan — Tue, 06 Feb 2018 20:28:38 +0000

In reply to Samantha. I am so sorry Samantha!! It's so hard, but try NOT to beat yourself up about what you did or didn't do! That isn't helping you to grieve and move forward. I will pray for you sweetie.

By: Samantha

Samantha — Sat, 03 Feb 2018 02:13:52 +0000

I had a miscarriage 7 weeks ago tomorrow. I was 16 weeks pregnant. My fiance and I were so incredibly excited for the baby. I didnt find out I was pregant until i was 9 weeks pregnant already and then once I realized I was pregnant, and then was unable to make an appointment due to insurance problems. I for some reason up until 13 weeks was terrified of a miscarriage. I didnt want to tell anyone but my closest friwnds about my pregnancy just in case. But once i reached the second trimester and was “out of the danger zone” i let myself breathe. I told anybody and everybody i could. I was so excited and my fiance already had a name picked out. Penelope Violetta for a girl and Matteo Gregory (family name) for a boy. I went in for an appointment on Saturday, December 16th with a new OB doctor as the previous one, we realized, had terrible reviews. This doctor wanted to do a full checkup seeing as i had never been there before. I had some mild cramping that morning when i woke up they continued till the appointment at 2 o clock. I brought it up with the doctor and she aaid it was just ligament pain and not to worry. By then they were pretty painful and i kept stressing that point but she kept brushing it aside. She then tried to do a sonogram to find the babys heartbeat. She couldnt find one. Again, she kept ignoring my claims that i was 16 weeks as well as previous doctors paperwork and said ” theres no way you’re 16 weeks i would be able to get a heartbeat if u were 16 weeks. I believe that you are pregnant, i dont believe you are 16 weeks. “She then did a pelic exam and told me i had blood in my cavity but that it was completely normal. However the cramps got worse and worse to what i realized were actually contractions. My fiance ran me to the hospital straight from the appointment. The contractions were horrible and very close together by then. I waited in the ER for half an hour when i felt something weird. I stood up and my water broke. I looked at my fiance and he just knew. He took me to the bathroom and helped me sit down while i bled everywhere. He ran to get a nurse. Within 15 minutes of lying on a hospital bed i passed/pushed out my baby. I had to pick up my, obviously 16 week old baby, and place it in a bedpan
I, for a brief moment, held my dead baby in my arms. I still keep track of where my baby would have been at. Right now she would have been almost 23 weeks(gestation). I never got to figure out why she died. I hurt so much. I think about it all day everyday and never got to tell anyone what happend. I was too broken to tell anyone that i delivered my baby, i had contrations and my water broke and we had names picked out for a baby we would never know. My fiance wants to try for a baby again, as soon as im ready, but i dont know when ill ever be ready. I keep blaming myself even though i know its no use
I just keep wondering why my baby died and what i did that caused it and im too scared to get pregant and have that baby die too without ever knowing WHY! I drank before i found out i was pregnant (only twice but even still i always worry). I didnt take prenatal vitamins prior to 9 weeks. I was unable to eat anything until i was 13 weeks because of nausea (i had horrible, horrible nausea to the point where literally anything i ate, including saltine crackers, i would throw up. I ended up having to quit my job because i was just constantly throwing up and as i worked with food… well it just wasnt safe.) And i didnt go to the doctors until 12 weeks. I am always wondering if it was because of these things that i miscarried. Maybe if I just forced myself to eat more. If i got earlier care. If i took my prenatal vitamins earlier. Anything. I keep looking at my apps telling me where my baby would be at this time and mourning what will never be. I just needed to get my story out tbere and tell it to someone who understands what its like. Please pray for me.

By: Katelyn Fagan

Katelyn Fagan — Fri, 24 Mar 2017 16:07:02 +0000

In reply to Annalisa. Great perspective!! Many blessings to you.

By: Annalisa

Annalisa — Fri, 24 Mar 2017 00:02:08 +0000

We had a miscarriage just about a year ago. I was present with my body; so I was aware that things probably weren’t going to last. (I was able to start the grieving process sooner.) My husband, however, had a much harder time with it. We were due in early December 2016. We got pregnant again in early November 2016. For me I didn’t feel sad, like it was a replacement baby or that I could have been holding a baby in my arms instead of a positive pregnancy test. But I think a big part of that is that my mother went through something similar. She also miscarried her first child. When I was little, I would say things like “I wish you hadn’t miscarried (right?) because then I’d have a sibling older than my [annoying] older brother, and he or she would protect me.” But my mother told me that if she hadn’t lost the first baby that my brother couldn’t have been born (because the gestational periods also overlapped). And as much as my brother and I fought, I wouldn’t have wished him gone. So, with this pregnancy, I just keep that in my head: as much as I loved and wanted my first baby, I love and want this baby too, and I couldn’t imagine not carrying him/her right now.

By: Katelyn Fagan

Katelyn Fagan — Thu, 19 Jan 2017 03:40:51 +0000

In reply to Abby. May God bless you with a healthy pregnancy and a healthy baby and calm your fears in the meantime. :)

By: Abby

Abby — Wed, 18 Jan 2017 21:53:00 +0000

Thank you for this post! I miscarried my first baby at 8 weeks last June. I am currently 8 weeks pregnant with another baby and my heart has been wrenched with fear! I know God has a plan, and I absolutely trust Him. I just know that if He chooses to, He can take this baby. My husband and I have such a strong desire to be parents, and at 32 and 39 we feel like time is just slipping by.

I love my first baby so much, and I will always feel some sorrow that I was never able to meet him/her. I think I will always think about how old that baby would be, and wonder what they may have looked like. I am trying to trust God and be grateful for each day with this new little one. My mom reminded me that none of us know what tomorrow holds. We will miss many beautiful moments in the present if we are consumed with worry about the future. So I continue to pray and celebrate each passing day with this baby. I am so grateful to read the comments from other women who have been through similar things. It’s good to know I’m not alone.

By: Calen

Calen — Thu, 05 Jan 2017 20:17:48 +0000

I stumbled upon your post today and I believe it’s a God thing. Today is day 2 of miscarrying my 6 week old baby. My first baby is going to be with Jesus. I knew for 1 week that my husband and I were pregnant with our first child. A short time does not reflect the amount of love this child has received. On December 28th when we first saw those two little lines my heart grew and our plans for our future began all at once. I have another appointment tomorrow to follow up with my hcg levels and to ensure everything has passed. To ensure my baby is no longer inside of me. This is absolutely heart wrenching and my heart goes out to every woman who is currently or has or even will endure this in the future. I am completely terrified in the possibility of becoming pregnant again. I have sought out my comfort in the Lord and I will continue to do so. At the end of the day, I am still a mommy to this angel of ours.