We have the elf on the shelf but with a twist. Our elf and Santa leave messages all year long about how our children are behaving and what could be worked on as well as what they did a good job on. The letters are either left with the elf or magically print out of our printer. The elf is more of a fun tradition as we do not make a big deal about buying gifts. The kids like looking for the elf more than anything else.

The kids always get books from mom, a toy from dad, and everyone draws names to make gifts for each other. The Santa gifts are personal items that they need anyway and can fit in their stocking. Items such as nail polish, small cars, socks, fun LITTLE toys are what go into the stocking and that’s what Santa brings. One of the two years that we could not afford gifts for anyone including our children was the most precious memory I have. My eldest, who was about eight at the time, determined that her cousins could not go without a gift from us. We could not afford to buy one, so she led her siblings into their playroom and proceeded to pick out their favorite toys to wrap and give as gifts to their cousins. That tells me we have done something right with our children and have taught them the true meaning of Christmas.

The elf on the shelf can be just a fun activity to help the children stay focused. We do not make a big deal about gifts and the Santa gifts are not huge and expensive. The focus stays on the season and what we can do with the items around us to bring joy to others. The elf just helps the kids to realize it needs to happen at home too.