Comments on: Why Wearing Modest Clothes Isn’t Making You Modest

By: Jennifer

Jennifer — Wed, 10 Jan 2024 12:33:26 +0000

Greatly written. I especially liked the statement “Comparison isn’t modesty. Comparing is still emphasizing you and the clothes you wear and how you present yourself.” Part of me thought I was getting into anti-church material. But I’ll be saving this if they put me back into teaching young women’s. I didn’t really dress modest, or immodest in my youth(wore what was in style as a teen and twenties) and converted in my mid 30s. I was a bit thrown when the conversation became a degration of how certain females dressed when we had a guest sitting right there in the classroom with spaggetti straps under her hoodie. I attempted to re-steer the discussion away from particular clothing, noting that people tend to wear what they have and I wore all the stuff that was talked about. It was an akward transition myself to figure out what worked and what didn’t, especially since I didn’t realize when I bought what I thought was modest didn’t cover the garments. That particular verse in Timothy has also stood out to me and I’ve been more mindful of ‘extras’, like jewelry, makeup. I simply ask myself, but is it really necessary, who am I wearing this for? I still wear some makeup and a necklace or earrings, but I’m not fully decked out the way I learned from generations before with ‘a whole set’. There is much more ease to not spending alot of time in front of a mirror. But doing just enough to feel good about myself, especially as a mother.

By: Lily

Lily — Sun, 04 Jun 2023 21:01:30 +0000

I stumbled upon this post by pure accident. I’m not belonging to any faith and I have no wish to change that, but I liked your post regardless, it was well written and you put into words what always irritated me with skin tight yet “modest” dresses. A lot of the modest culture actually. It is in your intent. Not the length of your sleves. Interestingly enough, you share a lot of views with some of my Muslim friends. I think it is a universal topic, isn’t it. My personal line is a hand with over the knee for shorts in summer. The rest I think, same than most modest standards. I purely do it for myself. I am not on this world to be looked at, oogled or an ornament. I’m no one’s decorations or eye candy. I am here to live fully. The other thing about modesty culture, dress codes, that really gives me stomaches aches, that it puts the responsibility on girls instead of teaching boys self-control. And this is so, so wrong. You could prance down the high street in your underwear and still, this gives absolutely no one any excuse to harass you or assault you. Isn’t there some bible verse about Jesus telling the guy to pluck out his eyes if he can’t stop staring? Clearly he puts the responsibility where it belongs. Anyway, I really loved your insight, it was well written and it aligns with my values, it is about humility and avoidance of vanity. My catholic grandma told me a story, war time Europe, she grew a lot, and her only good dress for church, was a bit short on her. Young girl, certainly not out there to be sexy. The pastor shamed her, told her she would go to hell, and made her handsew strips of scrap fabric on it, to lengthen it to the appropriate hemline. I still think of this anecdote. And who was having the sinful thoughts there and who was perfectly innocent and certainly not immodest by definition. Thanks for the food for thought with a well written post.

By: Jennifer Coe

Jennifer Coe — Thu, 29 Dec 2022 16:02:08 +0000

Wonderful points in this article. I am so glad I found this post!

By: Olawoye Babatunde

Olawoye Babatunde — Thu, 10 Dec 2020 04:01:57 +0000

Thanks for this article it is loaded with insights and revelations. I really appreciate you for being a blessing to this generation

By: Janice

Janice — Sun, 23 Feb 2020 05:50:45 +0000

I agree with modest in the heart first because that’s where its starts and from the heart it shows on outside and Yes clothes have a say in our modesty if every church was truly govern by God and ones on opinion we would be on one accord cultural doesnt mean we stop asking GOD how we are suppose to carry I seld we are to come up to GOD standards and not we try to fit in with what’s acceptable in this world we live in
We are suppose to stand out not blend it I think we want to social acceptable till we convince ourselves that showing our body is okay

By: Shonà

Shonà — Thu, 03 Oct 2019 00:59:50 +0000

I loved this article. I’m an Apostolic/Pentecostal and modesty is a big thing for us, as far as dress, but for some time I’ve been feeling as though so many people I know judge too quickly, just based on someone’s apparel. Modesty goes so much deeper than just outward appearance. I can dress in a way that covers most of my skin, but if I’m wearing it because I think it makes me look sexy or provocative and act flirtatious, then I don’t have a modest spirit. Thank you for such an eye opening insight! I’ve seen several people commenting use the term ‘temple ready’ and I’ve never heard of it before, but I like the sound of it. I’d like to adopt that term, if it’s okay. We should always be prepared for the King, inside and out, just as Queen Esther was. We often have a devotion for our young ladies called Life Girls and just recently had one with the theme “Daughter of the King.” This is something we need to share with them.

By: Katelyn Fagan

Katelyn Fagan — Tue, 28 May 2019 19:42:09 +0000

In reply to Abby. Thank you so much for telling me that it helped!! That was my hope all along, not that I'm perfect in this regard either, but I'm working on myself and my heart too. Thank you and God bless!

By: Abby

Abby — Fri, 24 May 2019 19:50:31 +0000

I am a follower of Christ and have recently struggled with judging people around me based on their appearances, especially fellow Christians and thought that they weren’t good Christians. I didn’t used to be this way a year and a half ago. I don’t know what happened, I just all-of-a-sudden changed and I hated it. I knew I was being ungodly by judging others and thinking ill of others, but I kept doing it. This post helped me to do a lot of reflecting and was exactly what I needed to hear. Thank you so much for posting this!

By: Nancy J. Hill

Nancy J. Hill — Tue, 04 Jul 2017 13:29:43 +0000

I had a hard time deciding what you were trying to say; you seem to be all over the place in what constitutes modesty. Times have changed, even in the Church. At one time our ‘temple garments’ went down to our ankles. Now they extend in most cases to just above the knee. When I went for my first Temple Recommend, my Bishop’s wife showed me some temple garments. Even though I chose to not go to the Temple at that time, I started making changes to the clothing I wore so that when I was ready, my clothing would cover my garments. I still stick with that guideline and though I am now 76 years old, I don’t have to go to my closet and ask myself each time, “Is this outfit modest?”, because everything there is! I like to dress attractively and am careful to make updates now and then to reflect changes in style, as long as the clothing is still ‘Temple-ready”. I would never try to mandate how others should dress unless they ask me. That doesn’t mean that I don’t cringe when I happen upon pictures of some of our current celebrities in their ‘show-all” outfits! Fortunately, I am not their judge, so I just try to keep up my own ‘standards’ and that of the Church.

By: Katelyn Fagan

Katelyn Fagan — Sat, 10 Jun 2017 14:06:49 +0000

In reply to Melinda Mitchell. Thanks so much for your comment Melinda!! I am glad it spoke to you too. I think you are right in that what is modest on you, and for you, may not be to others. So you not wearing a dress because most of what you'd find would draw to much attention to certain aspects of your figure is totally okay!

By: Melinda Mitchell

Melinda Mitchell — Fri, 09 Jun 2017 21:45:18 +0000

Katelyn, THANK YOU!!
I’m not LDS, but a protestant Christian, Assembly of God.
When I was young, we heard “clothesline” preaching ALL the time! But hardly any more.
We need to return to biblical standards, not cultural, in the church, The Bride of Christ as a whole.
I agree with nearly every word you wrote!
I wear capris, and T-shirts, almost exclusively.
When my bra straps don’t show, my breasts are completely covered, and not skin tight T-shirts. my bottom and thighs are all covered, to me that’s modest. Any other kind of shirt or blouse, that buttons is never modest on me, due to my large bosom. And dresses that cling are not modest in my opinion. some people might condemn me for not wearing dresses to church, but I have to answer to God for myself, not them.
I LOVE your emphasis on modesty as a virtue, not a numbered list of rules!
If we truly love God, and have respect for ourselves, and others, we WANT to be covered, and respectful!!
Someone can be totally all covered up, and still have a lustful attitude. Are they modest?? NOPE!

By: Katelyn Fagan

Katelyn Fagan — Tue, 16 Aug 2016 15:16:17 +0000

In reply to Momof5. I think your mom is a smart woman. :) If we are modest in dress, because we have that desire to respect ourselves, God, and others, it will certainly help us to be ready to make covenants in the temple.

By: Momof5

Momof5 — Sun, 07 Aug 2016 07:11:49 +0000

My mother taught me that the clothes I wore should help me prepare to go to the temple. And so I wore clothes (mostly) that covered my body so that after I went to the temple and made more sacred covenants, I wouldn’t have to get an entire new wardrobe. Modesty is huge and something that both ancient scripture and modern-day prophets have pled with us to practice – both inwardly and outwardly. It does make a difference! Also, as the mother of 5 sons, its impact on young men is major.

By: Katelyn Fagan

Katelyn Fagan — Tue, 21 Jun 2016 14:08:52 +0000

In reply to Patricia.

I understand what you are saying about the “modest is the hottest” phrase. I often understood it as modesty is attractive, in such that, when you are humble, meek, modest, in action and dress that people are drawn to you. The word “hot” implies sexual attractiveness. That is not inherently modest.

I think dressing appropriately is modest (as I said). I believe in Sunday best and dressing for the occasion at hand. But being super fashionable isn’t important to God or your salvation.

By: Patricia

Patricia — Tue, 21 Jun 2016 07:00:32 +0000

I. Agreed with your overall theme of modesty being a matter of attitude in addition to the clothing choices although not with some of the smaller points. I disagree that “Modest is hotest” should not be used to teach the youth and think you read too much into it. It’s catchy and memorable and certainly my daughter has taken it to mean that no modesty is more attractive. A modest attitude is also more attractive. The other point we seem to see differently is about teaching how to dress fashionably yet modestly. My friend served a mission in Italy, and her mission papers explained that Italians judged people by their clothes, so it was important to dress in up-to-date styles not outdated clothing. Clothing is part of image and can repel people, or it can set an example of modesty which absolutely includes how you conduct yourself. additionally, youth need to learn how to dress modestly with the clothes available in stores currently. There is plenty of teaching about modest conduct and attitude at church. The message is clearly taught in the youth and adult curriculums, but it’s up to individuals to be receptive to the message.