Oh yeah, I hear you on the guilt thing! Sometimes no matter what we do it just seems like it’s wrong, or not enough. Those are the moments I try to remind myself that very few kids grow up to be serial killers! 🙂

One of the most profound things I ever heard was that the atonement applies to being a parent, too. We do the best we can and then allow God to step in and paper over the cracks. We’re really not in this alone.

Love, love, love your comment Becca! I couldn’t agree more! I have the same philosophy when it comes to child-raising, and I do feel like I don’t spend my days just doing childcare, although, by not, I do feel perhaps less awesome than some other parents I know who DO have their young kids in every activity and sport (already!). I spent time taking care of the house while they are awake, and on building this blog business. Really, I need a few more things for ME to do. But, at the same time I do feel like I need to be giving more to them. It’s tough sometimes. And I totally did just snap that day. It was just one of those days. Honestly, I think it did me some good and I’m more motivated in certain areas of my life again.

And, yes, parents weren’t part of our children’s stories (I loved the Box Car Children as a 2nd or 3rd grader, ha ha ha). And I think it’s because these classic stories talk about children finding their own way, their own coming of age stories. Which is perhaps why they are such great book. If only more parents actually let their children find their way sooner in life, on their own. 😉

God bless ya! 🙂

I think moms today put a lot of pressure on themselves to be perfect – to have the perfect homes, to raise the perfect children, to fill their children’s perfect days with meaningful activities, etc. Part of is because we are a generation that was raised to excel – so we take that expectation into motherhood too. And at every turn, from before our children are born, we are exposed to unbelievable levels of judgement: What? You ate a jellybean!?!?! Do you know the amounts of artificial flavouring in that?!?!? You’ve just poisoned your baby! (I’m not actually condemning you, btw – that’s all a bunch of hogwash; think of the food our ancestors ate when they were pregnant; at one time arsenic was a common pesticide, after all – but I think every single pregnant woman in Western society has had those sorts of comments directed to her!)

Kids were never meant to be our entire world. Women have always done things in addition to being a mom – helped out on the farm or in the family business; campaigned for social change, etc. Even Caroline Ingalls, who many of us grew up seeing as the ‘ideal mother,’ devoted so much time to the mundane realities of keeping her house going, that she had very little to spend on her children. (Don’t believe me? Go reread those books.) (And yes, I know they’re fiction; but spend a few months doing your own family history and you’ll discover your great-grandmothers were very busy women, who did not spend their days in blissful childcare.)

Speaking of books, have you ever noticed how your favourite children’s literature features parents who are largely absent? Either the heroes and heroines are orphans; or they are more or less left to their own devises. These are the books we retreated to when were kids (ah, the joys of being Pippi Longstocking, left all alone in that big house while her father was away at sea!) Now, I’m not suggesting you become a pirate queen and leave your kids unattended (these days it’d never fly – and besides kids would make excellent pirates, they’re very demanding, and any ship’s captain worth his stripes would gladly hand over the entire boat if it meant not having to listen to a temper tantrum) but there’s nothing wrong with doing less for your kids – they’ll probably thank you for it.

Ice cream. Yes. Definitely. 🙂

I love your evening time with your hubby. It sounds awesome! I think inviting someone over during the day could give you some of that social time without compromising your time with your husband. And if you can, take a nap during the day instead. 😉 and you are so not alone.