Nine years ago as we went in for our first ultrasound appointment, during my very first pregnancy, at 18 weeks, we were super excited to find out the gender of our baby!
Boy or Girl, what would it be?!
So, when our ultrasound technician paused for a bit at the beginning of our ultrasound, we were a little worried.
What was up? Was something wrong?
She moved the ultasound wand around my belly, looked at us, and asked,
“Did you guys know you are having twins?”
Our jaws dropped, our eyes filled with tears, and we adamantly said “No!”
But, sure enough, she showed us not one, but two, little GIRL babies inside my (at the time) small abdomen.
When we called our anxiously awaiting parents about our ultrasound appointment, to tell them whether it was a boy or a girl, we told them we were “having a girl…. and another girl!”
To which they were shocked and surprised and delighted!
As we began to share the news with others, there was so much excitement surrounding our announcement.
Advice from fellow twins moms came from everywhere, and we took as much as we could in.
A fellow twin mom happened to be in one of my art classes (I was a full-time student while carrying twins), and she expressed how hard it would be to be a first-time mom and a twin-mom at the same time. Her twins were born after having a few other children first.
And she wasn’t wrong.
Having twins as a first pregnancy means a lot of extra hurdles.
Challenges of Having Twins as Your First
First-time parents have all the normal hoops and worries and hurdles to undergo.
Will this pregnancy go well?
Will I deliver early or late?
Will my baby need to be in the NICU?
Will I have to have a C-Section?
Everything you read about being a twin mom, and some of the twin moms you talk to, scare you about being pregnant with twins, as many do deliver early to premature babies via C-section, with many spending weeks if not months in the NICU.
Those are all terrifying things to consider as a first-time parent!
Not to mention a twin pregnancy on your thin, athletic, non-previously-stretched out uterus and abdomens intimidating as you think about loose skin and stretch marks forever after.
And then there is the huge, double financial burden of having twins as your first.
How will we afford all the stuff you need for a baby, times two?
As we were poor college students, this was particularly distressing. Because, even with Medicaid covering medical bills, WIC and Food Stamps providing some food, we still had to pay for cribs, bedding, diapers, wipes, changing tables, nursing covers, bottles, bibs, clothes, blankets, bathing supplies, breast pump supplies, baby toys, car seats, strollers, pack n’ play, swings, and more.
When you have twins after having a baby already, you already have a lot of supplies on hand, know what better you actually do want/need and what you don’t. You can maybe get by for a while without picking up double of everything, depending on the item.
Now, we were very blessed with some great family and friends who gave us many items we needed, but it was still a lot of added expenses all at once.
Then, of course, is the reality that we don’t know how to parent or breastfeed or sleep train or take care of babies 24/7, let alone two at once.
When you’ve already had a baby or two or a dozen before having your twins, you have some of this parenting stuff figured out already! You know what to stress and worry about and what to chalk up to being fairly normal.
You’ve already breastfed a baby (or not) and know how to do it well enough, and when there are serious issues to fix.
There’s just a LOT you don’t know as a first-time parent, and when you have two children challenging your abilities and knowledge straight out the gate, it makes things harder.
Benefits of Having Twin Pregnancy as First Pregnancy
However, there are also some pretty awesome benefits to having twins first, things that truly make it better in many ways than having a child or multiple children before having twins.
1. We never had an only child, which I’ve heard can be extra demanding in terms of needing your undivided one-on-one attention as there are no siblings to play with (yet).
2. Two for the price of one pregnancy! If you wanted to have two kids, or a big family, having a twin pregnancy saves you an extra nine months of doing this all again.
3. As twins give you two at once, you can wait longer before the next pregnancy and more kids, or be done!
4. Cute matching outfits! Because you know what is cuter than one baby? TWO BABIES!!
5. The next babies, deliveries, and pregnancies will be nothing compared to this and them! (Or so I thought…. my 11lbs big baby may have me rethinking this statement.)
6. One won’t be more spoiled than the other (like most first kids are spoiled than younger ones).
7. We’ll have plenty of hand-me-down stuff for our next kids.
8. We’ll be the topic of conversation for at least a few years, as everyone is always fascinated by twins (course this could be a bad thing if you are an introvert, I suppose).
9. Two kids to practice parenting on (and learn about different personalities and what to do) so we’ll be pros as we expand our family after them.
10. They’ll be used to sharing, just about everything, and will be used to not getting everything they want, when they want it.
As our twins are now nine, and we’ve had several more children after them, I still firmly believe it was a huge blessing to have twins first.
We are fast approaching the age where we’ll have two babysitting-aged children at our disposal.
Plus, they still always have each other to play and talk and share a room with, and are still best friends.
They are great big sisters to their younger siblings, too, and are great examples.
Also, by having twins first, having a singleton child later feels like a walk in the park.
Like, what do you parents of a single baby complain about?!
When you have twins first, you really don’t know how “terrible” it is because you don’t have anything to compare it to! It is your reality and your life, so it’s easier to handle, than if you knew how much less sleep you were getting with twins than with a single baby.
The benefit of being first-time twin moms, is that our twins taught us a lot about how to handle stressful situations, how to manage the chaos and mess, how to care for babies and toddlers and preschoolers. They helped us chill out a lot as parents…. because they caused us to freak out far too many times first.
Because, not gonna lie, having twins is hard, when they are little. Like super tough.
But, by about 4.5 years old, they finally get “easier.”
The thing is, no matter how stressed out we were the day we found out we were expecting not just one, but two babies, we always trusted God to help us.
He helped me have an uncomplicated full-term twin pregnancy, with an uncomplicated C-section birth, with little NICU time. He helped me navigate through the wonderful and difficult transition into full-time motherhood from full-time student life, while still being able to complete my degree.
He saw us through lots of financial stress and difficulty.
We trusted God that the time was right to have kids, despite everything indicating otherwise, and he blessed us for our faith and obedience ever since.
If you are expecting twins, know hard days are ahead, but that wonderful, delightful days are ahead too. It’s such a blessed, special thing to be a twin mom!
Best of luck!
For More Pregnancy Tips and Advice Check Out These Pregnancy Posts:
- Practical and Thoughtful Gifts for First-Time Moms
- Free Breastfeeding Supplies and Samples
- What to Do About Your Varicose Vein Pregnancy
- 13 Pregnancy Box Subscriptions to Pamper Mom
- Free Baby Box for Mom from Noobie Box
- The Ultimate Guide on How to Sleep During Pregnancy
- How to Choose a Baby Name Without Regret
yay for fagan twins!
Lindsey and Josh says
TWINS!!!!!!!!!!????? OH MY GOODNESSS- I HAD NO IDEA WHEN I JUST TALKED TO YOU ON FB THAT YOU WERE HAVING TWINS!!! THEY WILL JUST BE ADORABLE!! CONGRATS! THAT IS SOOO SUPER EXCITING!! YOU LOOK GREAT!
I’m planning to use cloth diapers … it might sound like a little much, but I think it will save loads in the long run … just an idea.
I’m so excited for you!
Kate! I feel somewhat behind on the times considering I just recently found out you were pregnant. Actually Carol had to tell me. So for one, I’m so sorry I haven’t congratulated you until just now. Second: Oh my goodness! Twins! And yet at 18 weeks you’re still one of the skinniest people I know.
Super Huge amounts of congratulations, and please let me know if you’re coming back to Wisconsin soon so I can see you. 🙂
Brittany and Joe says
Jeez Kate. I really think I was on to something when I joked to you about this, because I never joke around about twins. But what are you going to do if you end up on bed rest or something like that? But it’s way cool. It’s going to be crazy but you’ll get through it. I know if you ever needed a hand I would come help you if that’s what you wanted. Let me help you! I love you sis. I think the family was just thinking of just sending you money and you and Josh get the things you need for the little nuggets!
I love the pictures! Both of you and your little babies! Ooooh, little girlies. I can’t wait to buy them outfits! PINK ONES! 🙂
Jeff always told me that if we were going to have twins we’d better start off with them so we didn’t know anything different. I am so excited for you both!!!!!