Pretty much as soon as our twin daughters were physically able to, we had them help clean up the countless messes they made around the house.

And we had them help clean up numerous different types of messes – water splashed outside the bathtub, pee on the carpet, poop on the crib rails, crayons on the walls, cereal on the floor, toys, books, Wite-out (which is pretty much impossible to get out of fabrics), nail polish, crayons, dishes, and more.

Obviously, at first, our kids needed a lot of help in picking up their messes, and much supervision.  But, as time has gone on, they need less and less (and we expect more from them too), but we still often give them aid, because we like working together, and also showing that it’s good to help others (value of conversation for a different day though).

Having our kids clean up there messes now for a long time now, we have learned several things along the way to help get our children to clean up their messes:

• Sing the clean-up song (via Barney HERE)
• Make it a game.  See who can pick up the fastest or “shoot” the toys into the bin.
• Give a reward for cleaning up (thought don’t do this very often).
• Don’t expect perfection.
• Help them do it.
• Show them how to do it.
• When cleaning up cereal or other sticky messes, put a washcloth or paper towel on top, and then pinch it up.
• Let them clean other things with a wet rag or a duster or a broom or mop, etc.
• Make cleaning up part of the routine – after breakfast, before bed, once a day, etc.
• Bring a bowl or waste basket close to the “grime scene.”
• Use towels for big wet messes.  Lay them on the floor and then stomp up the liquid.
• Disinfecting wipes are marvelous, as long as they stay out of mouths.
• Keep things in the same place so they will know where they go.
• Stay positive.
• Afterwards talk about how easy it was!  Or, if it wasn’t easy, talk about how rewarding it is to do hard things.
• Tell them how much you appreciate them cleaning up after themselves. Praise them!

However, sometimes our children refuse to clean up their messes.  And that is not okay with us.  It is at these times we’ve put our children in time-outs or other punishments (look at that? Nap time already?).  And sometimes, it has taken them hours, yes, HOURS, to pick up one smallish mess (always food-related in those instances).

In fact, the other day, Lisa made a mess with her breakfast cereal, her Kix.  It looked like this:

Most of it was still in the bowl, thankfully.  However, Lisa refused to clean it up for over an hour and a half.  She preferred to just lay on the floor, being bored and lazy instead of cleaning up her mess, like so:

I tried time-outs, spanking, taking away any play thing, showing her how to do it, and picking up some myself, but all to no avail.  She “couldn’t” do it.  And for lying about not be able to do it, she would again go in time-out.

So, I had her repeat after me, “I can!” several times.  I even took her hands and pick up bits of the cereal with them and then dropped them in the bowl.  However, she at one point spilt the rest of the bowl onto the ground.  Needless to say, that didn’t make me very pleased, either.

But, do you know how that mess was ultimately cleaned up?  By her sister Alison.  Alison, bless her heart, was willing to do the dirty work for the mess her sister made.  She and I ended up cleaning up the spilt cereal on the carpet that morning.  And then we were able to go on our way to playgroup.

Instilling Values in our Kids: Cleaning up (Life’s) Messes

And the reason we are such sticklers about messes is not because we are OCD, neat freaks, or love torturing our children. The reason is that in life we screw up.  We make mistakes.  We make messes.  But, it is our responsibility to clean up after them.

I hope that some day, when our child has a moment of poor judgment or makes a rash decision, that whatever “mess” follows suit, that they will not walk away from it, but that they will acknowledge their shortcoming and then get to work cleaning up their mess, whether in the form of asking for forgiveness, repaying a debt, picking up our a literal mess, or doing whatever is necessary to make things right.

So, while the messes today are physical, someday they will be emotional, spiritual, psychological, or monetary.  And I hope that by learning to clean up physical messes, they may learn that while cleaning up messes can be annoying or tricky, it is a necessary part of life.

More Posts about Instilling Values in Kids:

• Instilling Values in Our Kids: Introduction
• Instilling Gratitude and Thankfulness
• Instilling Faith in Jesus Christ
• Instilling Kindness – #TackyBoxKindness
• Instilling the Value of Service
• Instilling the Value of Humor
• Teaching Children the Importance of Work
• Have Your Child Plan Their Own Birthday Party
• The Importance of Agency and Making Good Choices
• Honesty and Stealing – Butterfingers and Sticky Fingers
• Developing Girl’s Positive Self-Esteem
• Cleaning up {Life’s} Messes

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